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For months, it seemed like everyone who runs across Camelorum Adventures
and related media are totally in love with it. Today, I discovered that haters do exist. There will always be that one asshole that can't simply hate it, but has to get all 5th-grader-like about announcing their hatred. I also discovered that as popular as the characters are, there will always be that one who can't stand them for being different from the usual stock of their genre.
In fact, that asshole may very well be on this site. However, I've learned I have a variety of stalkers who know every site I am on, and lie in wait for something I submit to fail to catch on. The minute something I submit anywhere isn't popular, for any reason, they strike like mad-hungry green mambas.
I submit a lot of content a lot of places. I realize that, while I've had quite a few hits, not everything I make will always score gold. Every artist hits a few home runs, and strikes out a few times too. Not one artist living and dwelling on this Earth today can hit the mark perfectly every time. Even the greats, like Dr. Seuss and Picasso, occasionally had works that were...not received very well. They were either too weird, too ambitious, or...the loyal fans took the day off. It happens.
So what went wrong? What feat could the Camelorum girls NOT steal everyone's hearts doing???
It turns out, even CA has limits to what it can get away with. Spoofing ALF? No problem. Showing just how dangerous world-hopping would actually be? Sure, why not? But apparently, Am I Right as a website has become a hotbed of elitist snobs.
That's right, you've read that right. The site where entire parody songs can be submitted replacing all the original lyrics with toilet humor, has elitist snobs lurking on it. Those snobs have decided that "pee-and-poo" parodies are A-OK, but that pastiches are somehow NOT okay.
An unwritten rule, but an entry apparently is only allowed to spoof ONE song at a time. I'm sure that the rules will be updated at that site at some point in the future, to ward off anyone else who dares commit the sacrilege of submitting a parody pastiche instead of a singular parody.
So how did this all go so wrong? Well, I thought it would be funny if the cast did their own version of the "Cell Block Tango" from Chicago
. Apparently, that was deemed blasphemy in and of itself by the Am I Right elite. But I didn't stop there.
The girls each modified the tunes to their verses so that their unique origin stories could be told according to whatever other tune interested them. The song would transition periodically between the tunes, beginning and ending with a chorus based on "Cell Block Tango." Along the way, the Pigs and Barry would interrupt to protest the girls' various quirky statements.
I started with Carly, who decided to sing about how she got sent to Camelorum. She chose to sing her verse based on "Bohemian Rhapsody." Again, that was apparently a big no-no. Queen is virtually untouchable, unless the elites favor you. Of the 50 other attempts existing, only about half of them have done well.
Having the "Figaro" parts replaced with the mayor and warden strongly protesting the idea of Carly leaving due to her reality-warping was not smiled upon either. The elites at Am I Right hated that about as much as Bonny was hated for falling on that poodle.
I didn't stop there. Candace was next. She sang about her incident at the mall, to the tune of "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" by They Might Be Giants. This is only the eighth time anyone on AmIRight has dared to spoof that song, in whole or part. It...was not well-received. Which is a surprise, because I put as much effort into her verse as I did into Anita's "You Drank Too Much Moonshine" singular parody - which won amazing rave reviews.
Gwen came next, singing about her incident with the ferret food. This was to the tune of "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats. This was the second-most fun I had writing the piece. But alas, not enough to salvage it from the evisceration the overall composition received.
Anita came next, replacing "Battle Hymn of the Republic" with "Fail Hymn of the Anita." Apparently, "Epic-Fail-a-luia" is not endearing. Duly noted irony.
Emily wrapped up, talking about how she tried to flee, only for her hair to betray her by changing color in a bank in front of everyone. This was to the tune of "Down Under" by Men at Work.
Granted, "Cell Block Pastiche" isn't the only time a Dozerfleet Records song fared poorly at Am I Right. There was one
other time, in 2008. "Serial Bomber, Part 2" was considered mediocre at best by the reviewers.
However, a user dubbing himself "Go back to DAd" took things an extra step, by saying things to the effect of "you don't belong here" and "take your petty Superjail imitation back to DeviantArt and go away." I'm actually surprised that His Ignorance didn't go the extra mile, and add "go kill yourself" to the end of his response. This is the first time that anyone at AmIRight not liking an entry of mine has ever gone to such extreme measures to express such hatred.
I dismissed him as the petty middle school brat he was acting like, telling him I was even less impressed with his attitude than he was with my pastiche. Yet the fact remains: AmIRight can either evolve to include pastiches, or I will simply not send them another one, and leave them to stew in their one-song-only remade soap commercials that talk about Trump and Rubio. There are more intelligent souls out there on the web, capable of more respectful and constructive critique than those ungrateful babies.
Think of it this way: you make strawberry rhubarb pie. You make blueberry pie. You make banana cream pie. The one kid who hates all the pies solely because you made them, sits in the corner and says nothing. The others eat it all up, because it's predictable and delicious. Then, you decide to experiment. You make one that has rhubarb, strawberry, blackberry, blueberry, and seedless pomegranate in the middle. A tiny handful of kids are brave enough to try this experiment and like it. Most of the rest refuse to go near it, because it's...well...it's not what they usually get.
That experimental pie is suddenly shunned from the market, because the kids are too scared to want anything to do with it. Fair enough. The votes have it. That recipe will not be appearing in that market of kids again. It's just not a good culture fit. It failed that market. Lesson learned, right? Well, then the kid who hates you, the baker, decides to use your one time a pie didn't sell, and make that his launchpad for a hate campaign to discourage you from ever baking another pie in that market again. To which I say, f* that stupid t***. I'll not only make a pure raspberry pie that will sell, I'll dedicate it to him. I just have to decide what a raspberry is in that analogous context.
It doesn't even have to be about Camelorum either. But I'd consider that a bonus. After all, someone once said: "The best revenge is to keep going, and succeed, and for your enemies to see that they have failed to stop you."
In other news, the episodes for season 1 are pending mapping, which is set to begin really soon. Once I have my 1095-A figured out, I should have smooth sailing. I also have a new printer now. Granted, it's only black-and-white. But it's also a laserjet. And it's wireless. As little printing as I still do, and for the steal of a deal price I got at Staples, it was more than worth it to go this route. I can always go 4 miles down the road to print if I absolutely have to have something printed in color.